So I have had the Big Blah post up there for a month now. It is time to let you know how the adjustment has gone. In one word: GREAT! I know, I am surprised too! Really Tessa getting diabetes has been a huge blessing. She has gained weight (which was desperately needed), she is eating so much better, she sleeps through the night, she loves school again, and more. This has been a great blessing to getting Tessa happy again. It still is work, but it is controllable. So many things about Tessa I have no control over and no way to "fix" them. But this is something I have some control over and there are steps to take when she is having a problem. I like knowing there is something I can do!
As I have thought on this, it is not too often that I get to see the blessings so fast in a trial. Usually it is years later that I look back and see growth and how I was led and blessed. But this was a fast burn. I am so thankful that Heavenly Father has blessed our family with diabetes. It solved a lot of the problems we were facing lately. So blessed!! I am trying really hard to learn from this also. Some of the reason that I have seen the blessings is that I was looking for them. Instead of dwelling on what was wrong, I was trying really hard to see what was right. Every time I started feeling overwhelmed, I tried really hard to shift my attention. This has helped in many places in my life. It isn't always easy, but it is possible. I have always felt I don't have a lot of options on what is happening to me, but I always have the option of how I react to life. I want to feel happy - I mean I really want to feel happy. That has been my focus as I try to change how I am feeling towards life. Heavenly Father wants me to be happy - "Men are that are that they might have joy." JOY! Now I just have to move forward trusting that Heavenly Father will lead me so that I will and can feel that joy in my heart.
I love that conference had a lot of focus on gratitude and on focusing on our blessings. I love Bishop Edgely's talk on faith. He talked about that having faith is an action word. A verb. I think this is what joy is also. It is an action word. It requires movement of body and soul. It requires trying to feel happy and not just waiting for happiness to begin. I love how in the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness" it says that happiness is not given, it is something we must pursue. It is something to be found, cultivated, nourished.
So - moving forward - this is my goal. To pursue Joy. To pursue Happiness. To pursue the constant ability to look for my blessings. (I feel like I should have a little amen from the choir here!)