Monday, April 30, 2012

Ugghh!

So I let Chris talk me into running the Ogden half marathon a few months ago.  That was before we moved and I felt settled with life.  Now I am back to not being comfortable and am thinking I am a fool to think I can run 13 (yikes) miles!  So if you read this blog...which may be few people...I need those words, real or fake, of confidence in how awesome I am going to do on this run!!  Lie through your teeth if needed.  I just need some confidence right now! 

I think the real problem may be pride in how slow I am and the thought of Chris finishing the entire marathon before I run the half!!


Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Day Two: The meaning behind my blog name!

This is a tricky story. It is easy to tell, it's just some might take offense. No offense is intended, so take it in a kindly light!!

My sister and I have always said that we have inner black girls. It is what gives us our attitude and booties. So long, long ago we named our inner black girls! I have always been Yowanda and she is Sheniqua. It is part of my identity and part who I am! I have always been proud of Yowanda and all that she is! She gives me that extra spunk that is needed to traverse the rocky roads of life! So there you have it!!

I was going to include a picture of my new house, but where would I even begin to look for my camera cord! Hmmm! Haven't seen it since the move and isn't where I thought it would be now that we've moved. I'll have to work on that! In the meantime, I've got a sick little one who is needing loving! See you all later!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Blogger Challenge!

It's been a while! Let's be honest! Life got busy. We sold our house, packed, moved, unpacked and now are trying to live again! So I thought I would join this little blogger challenge to update my blog and show my new digs at the same time!

Day 1 - Current picture of me and 15 interesting facts!



1. This picture was taken 5 minutes ago. That is very current. Sporting a new hair color as of this morning too! I like new colors.

2. I love, love my new house. I am learning to love where my house is located (missing South Weber) though!

3. I love having a 2 year old. She is seriously so much fun!! Who wouldn't want to hear "I lub you" about 50 times a day! So cute!

4. I love me a really cute pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Nothing is more comfortable!

5. I didn't love my mission until a couple of years ago. I know, blasphemy!! But it is true. It took time to appreciate all that I learned and see the blessing it has been on my life. In truth it was a really hard 1 1/2 years! But I wouldn't give that time back!

6. I am the worst dancer ever! I put the white in white girl!

7. My handwriting looks almost exactly like my mom's. I love this. Her handwriting is beautiful. I practiced for years to get it right, which really came in handy in high school!

8. I love the movie "The Devil Wears Prada" but not for the movie itself. I love it because I would love to dress tres chic and have the hair styles and make-up. Maybe in my next life!!

9. I seriously have the best sisters. I know you think yours are great, but for me, I couldn't have better! They don't judge me even though I am completely unbalanced!

10. I love that Elise is exactly like me, not kinda, but exactly! It really helps me understand her and myself so much better. I am learning so much from her!

11. I could buy jackets until all the closets in our house were filled and then want more. Jackets are my shoes!

12. I don't like food. I seriously wish that I liked it more. Eating and deciding what to eat each day is the hardest!! Why are my kids such picky eaters? Hmm!

13. I have always loved the color of my eyes. They are really bright blue. They are my focal point.

(This is getting hard)

14. I am always humming under my breath. It took me forever to figure out why my kids were always humming. Then I started to notice that I did it subconsciously. Wonder where I got it from?

15. I love to clean. No, this is not my way of saying I want to clean your house. But I do find cleaning very relaxing. The more agitated that I am the more I clean. It is like yoga to me.

So there is day one! Feel free to join in on the fun. Can't say that each day will come quickly, but it will come! Blogging is fun. Just need to start doing it again!

Friday, May 13, 2011

The Boxer

The other day I was having a little bit of a down day, not a lot, just a little bit! So I decided to put on some comfort music and calm my soul. I decided to play Simon and Garfunkel's Greatest Hits. Love that music. One song on the album has stuck with me for days now. The Boxer. Great song to begin with, but one part especially has resonated in my soul and has taught me a few insights about myself! Here is the part:

In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that layed him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains

I have empathy for the boxer. I "carry the reminders of ev'ry glove" that has layed me down in recent years. I feel worn and beat. Often I feel anger. Often in my heart I declare also that "I am leaving" or maybe just giving up. It is too much for little old me to handle.

But I also am a fighter. For that reason I remain - strong, capable and ready for the next match I will have to face. No matter how many times I have been called to fight, I haven't given up, I have stood strong till the end and I am conquering.

I really think these lines are heaven sent. They remind me who the Lord knows that I am. He has always known that I was strong enough to conquer. He has always known that I have a fighter spirit and won't be easily beaten. He has always known I am up to the tasks at hand. It always strengthens so much to remember what the Lord knows about me - all the things I forget.

Second, my grandpa passed away a couple of weeks ago. I have thought a lot about him and his life. It was not a perfect life. My grandpa fought many demons in this life. He fought addictions also. Many of my decisions to stay away from addictive substances stems from not wanting to ever be in his shoes. I am so grateful he does not have to fight those addictions in his mortal body any more. It must be a relief.

On the other hand, I will miss my grandpa's laugh so much. Even as I type this I can hear in my mind his laugh. He always thought everything we did was so funny. He loved us all so much - that is not in doubt. I want to be as happy as he was. I really want to find the funny side of what is happening in life. I don't think he was always this way, but somehow learned. It gives me hope I can learn to find joy in all things too!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

March and April

So the big news around here is that we put our house up for sale. It is very bitter sweet. Chris' work moved a lot farther south and he is tired of commuting almost 3 hours a day. But on the other hand, we love South Weber and all the friends we have made here. We love our neighbors and ward. They have taken such good care of us! If you hear of anyone moving this direction, we have a lovely house with lovely neighbors in a lovely city! We will miss our friends but are excited to be closer to family! Think happy thoughts about our house selling!!

Here are a few of the fun things going down at the Kapp house! Love my girls!


Seriously these girls absolutely love each other. They have so much fun playing together - so cute!


Forgot to post our Happy St. Patrick's day! Last year this holiday and the theme color was completely forgotten. A lot of pinching ensued. Luckily Auntie Heather was good to the girls this year and helped them be ultra prepared for the holiday!


This is the happiest girl around. Always smiling! So lucky to have her as part of our bunch.


So I thought it was April, but maybe I am wrong. For the last day of spring break Elise and I went out into the snowy day (third in a row) and made a new friend! We had a lot of fun playing in our awesome spring weather. I think I might have even gotten sun burned!!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Baby girl photo shoot

Here is a link to see Simone's cute pictures we had taken on Saturday. She was really cute! We only got a few in her dress as she decided she was done with picture taking and wanted to leave, NOW! Cute over all though!

Click here to view!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Elise's baptism!

What a wonderful day it was! I loved all of the preparations to be ready for this day. The discussions have been wonderful! Elise was so very excited. She started counting down months ago. The week before her baptism was counted down in hours (my math skills were tested)! Here are wonderful pictures of the sweet day!





Thursday, December 2, 2010

Updated!

So I have had the Big Blah post up there for a month now. It is time to let you know how the adjustment has gone. In one word: GREAT! I know, I am surprised too! Really Tessa getting diabetes has been a huge blessing. She has gained weight (which was desperately needed), she is eating so much better, she sleeps through the night, she loves school again, and more. This has been a great blessing to getting Tessa happy again. It still is work, but it is controllable. So many things about Tessa I have no control over and no way to "fix" them. But this is something I have some control over and there are steps to take when she is having a problem. I like knowing there is something I can do!

As I have thought on this, it is not too often that I get to see the blessings so fast in a trial. Usually it is years later that I look back and see growth and how I was led and blessed. But this was a fast burn. I am so thankful that Heavenly Father has blessed our family with diabetes. It solved a lot of the problems we were facing lately. So blessed!! I am trying really hard to learn from this also. Some of the reason that I have seen the blessings is that I was looking for them. Instead of dwelling on what was wrong, I was trying really hard to see what was right. Every time I started feeling overwhelmed, I tried really hard to shift my attention. This has helped in many places in my life. It isn't always easy, but it is possible. I have always felt I don't have a lot of options on what is happening to me, but I always have the option of how I react to life. I want to feel happy - I mean I really want to feel happy. That has been my focus as I try to change how I am feeling towards life. Heavenly Father wants me to be happy - "Men are that are that they might have joy." JOY! Now I just have to move forward trusting that Heavenly Father will lead me so that I will and can feel that joy in my heart.

I love that conference had a lot of focus on gratitude and on focusing on our blessings. I love Bishop Edgely's talk on faith. He talked about that having faith is an action word. A verb. I think this is what joy is also. It is an action word. It requires movement of body and soul. It requires trying to feel happy and not just waiting for happiness to begin. I love how in the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness" it says that happiness is not given, it is something we must pursue. It is something to be found, cultivated, nourished.

So - moving forward - this is my goal. To pursue Joy. To pursue Happiness. To pursue the constant ability to look for my blessings. (I feel like I should have a little amen from the choir here!)

Friday, October 8, 2010

The big blah!!

The Kapp house has been pretty crazy for a while now. It started a few weeks ago. Tessa out of nowhere came down with an ear infection. She wasn't sleeping and crying constantly so I took her to the doctor. They gave her an antibiotic and we were on our way. She got a little better, but by 5 days later she was miserable again. So we took her back to the doctors. She still had the ear infection. The doctor put her on a different antibiotic and we were on our way again. This time she only had 1 good day and was miserable again. We waited a couple of days to see if the antibiotic would kick in, with no luck!! So we went back to the doctors. This time he gave her an antibiotic shot in both legs and told us to come back the next day. We went back and one ear was better, but there was still infection in the other ear. So she got two more shots and told to come back the next day. Went back the next day and her ears were declared well again.

Part two. She felt a little better for a day and then seemed to come down with the flu. She was very miserable. She cried day and night and only wanted to drink. So, that's right, we went back to the doctor!!!! He said she didn't have an ear infection but it probably was the flu and to try and keep her hydrated. So we did for 3 days. After 3 days I was beside myself. She was getting super skinny (which you know is crazy skinny), she cried if she was awake and was sleeping 90% of the day. So I called the doctor and said I just didn't know what to do and asked what he thought. He said to come in the next day. We did (yes we are up to 7 visits in 3 weeks by this point). He said let's run blood work and see what she is deficient in that is making it so she is not healing as she should be. We went and got the blood work done.

Part three. After the blood work, I am not kidding, the doctor called within the hour. He said that all the blood work was normal except the blood glucose. It was 400 (100-200 is normal). He said he was calling Primary Children's Medical Center and we would probably be sent right down. He called 5 minutes later and said go directly there without passing go or collecting $100. So off we went. My parents met us there and took Simone and then came up and got Elise and took them to their house in Provo. They re-checked all of Tessa's blood work and it became official that Tessa has Type 1 Diabetes!

Part four. We stayed at the hospital for 3 days and learned how to give shots, prick fingers, calculate carbohydrate amounts in food and so much more. I did like the part when I got to give Chris a shot. He was being a punk and I goofed up so he got 2 shots. That will teach him to he such a smarty pants!! Really it was days stuffed with a lot of learning how to take care of Tessa. We learned so much. There were a lot of highs and a lot of low (both with her blood sugar and our sanity)! But overall we saw drastic changes in Tessa. She is happy again, looks good and doing so much better. We had been so worried about her health for so long not knowing what was going on.

Conclusion. The questions remain how are we really going to be able to do this? How will this work with school? Will we really be able to keep it all straight in our heads? Are we going insane??? And a lot more. I have always thought that we really don't get a choice in what we go through, just how we go through it all. So most of the time a good attitude is in order and all is well. I am sure I will feel very overwhelmed at times (especially because I don't think it is possible to be underwhelmed!)!

Blessings. There are so many huge blessings in all of this. First and foremost my parents. I called them panicked and they dropped everything and just took care of us. I am so grateful they have always done this for me (now I don't have to someday in general conference feel guilty I didn't tell them). Second, we really have amazing doctors and nurses, etc in this area. We were so taken care of and helped. What a blessing to have a top notch children's hospital in the area. Third, Chris is amazing. He just jumps into everything with an amazing attitude and carries the load until I can muster the courage to jump on board as well. An example was after learning how to give shots he was disappointed that Tessa didn't need a shot that night for him to give to her. Poor thing had to wait until the next morning. There are so many other blessings as well!!

So...how are we doing? Better. I am so glad to have my sweet Tessa back and being happy! Now don't go saying to yourself or to me that I handle things so well and that I am amazing (yes people say that from time to time to me). I am not handling this well, I'm just handling it like all of you would too. If I had the choice I would give this challenge back!!! Oh well, I don't get the choice! I guess I will just move forward!!

Monday, August 23, 2010

The 5 senses!

Oh how I love the smell of freshly sharpened pencils lined up neatly on the desks. I love seeing the excitement of all the kids entering the classroom for the first day and scanning for their desks and who they will sit next to. I love hearing the laughter of kids laughing with nervousness of meeting their new teacher. I love the feel of new clothes, a little rough, but so fun to wear. I love taste of the peanut butter on the knife that I get to lick after making sandwiches for school lunch.

I also love the smell of a clean house that no one followed me around making dirty the instant I got it clean. I love seeing my sweet girl going to school so grown up through the tears in my eyes! I love hearing not a sound when I went outside, the neighborhood was empty. I love the feel of new clothes, yes, I got a new back to school outfit too! I love the taste of Dr. Pepper as I sit with my feet up relaxing at 10 in the morning.

I can't wait to smell the cookies cooking for an after to school snack. I can't wait to see the smile my little school lover will have as she returns home from school. I can't wait to hear my little one as she comes home and describes all that happened today at school. I can't wait to feel the giant hug I will surely get when my little one runs in the door after the first day of school. I can't wait to taste the cookies that we will eat together while listening to all the fun adventures today held.

(I also can't wait for Wednesday when I get to experience all of this again as I send Tessa off to her first day of school. She is so excited too!)

I LOVE SCHOOL!!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A miracle happened!

We have wanted Tessa to go to an intensive therapy called Now I Can for a while now. It is a therapy that you do for 3 weeks for 4 hours a day for 5 days a week. It is intensive and uses a lot of techniques that are not usually used to help kids like Tessa. We looked into it a while ago, but it is very expensive. I went to a consultation last week just to see what they thought they could accomplish with Tessa. They have scholarships they give out also and we were hoping to get a scholarship to help pay for the costs. Well guess what? Our insurance company will cover 100% of the cost. This is truly a miracle!! I am so excited for Tessa to do this therapy and hope that it will help her tremendously!

If you want to help this therapy, you can without giving a cent out of your pocket. The Now I Can Foundation is entered in a contest right now. On Facebook you can vote daily for a charity to receive $30,000 through APX company. Go to www.nowican.org you will see the APX gives back button. Click on start voting, go to the mountain region (green) then click to vote for Now I Can. You can vote once daily until the 21st of August. This money will help many kids like Tessa to be able to attend this amazing therapy even if their parents can't pay for it. Please help!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Downloading the camera

I finally hooked the camera up to the computer and look at all the fun stuff that I found!!


Simone smiling so pretty in her blessing gown. It was such a wonderful day - loved that so much of the family was able to attend!


This week Simone has started eating rice cereal. She likes it!


Simone and Tessa are really good at sharing toys - at least until Tessa tries to steal Simone's hair bow, then the sister fights begin!


Look at me pushing up during tummy time!



Tessa girl turned 5! I cannot believe she has gotten so old!


We went on a tour of the Jelly Belly bean factory. It was a snore, but they did give free jelly beans to everyone! And really cool hats!


Another picture in her blessing gown!


Asleep in the swing - so sweet!


Smile!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Lions and Dragons

I was reading in the Book of Mormon this week in Mosiah. King Noah's wicked priests steal away the Lamanite daughters and the Lamanites go to war against the people of Limhi. The scriptures read that the Lamanites were really mad that their daughters were stolen and go fighting like "lions for their prey." Then it says of the people of Limhi, "But they fought for their lives, for their wives, and for their children; therefore they exerted themselves and like dragons did they fight" (Mosiah 20:10-11).

This had circled through my brain over and over this last week. Am I fighting like a lion for prey or like a dragon?

My biggest challenge that I repeatedly face is discouragement. I am easily beset by discouragement. I find it hard to stay positive often in the face of my trials. Also, the more tired I am, the harder it is even more (which having a newborn means I am tired always). So back to the lions and dragons, am I fighting discouragement like a lion for my prey? Do I fight it like a dragon? Those are strong, big animals that fight very ferociously.

The next chapter holds a huge key to how the people of Limhi were able to fight like a dragon. It reads, "And they did humble themselves even in the depths of humility; and they did cry mightily to God; yea, even all the day long did they cry unto their God that he would deliver them out of their afflictions" (Mosiah 21:14).

So there is the goal and the way to achieve the goal. I really want to fight like a lion and a dragon = so I need to be humble and pray often to the Lord. Really it is simple if I can just remember to do it. Hence this post. For me to read and reread when I need that reminder!

Friday, January 8, 2010

One month? Plus Christmas

I can't believe that it has already been a month since Simone was born! She is such a sweet baby! Three words to describe how life has been...tiring, overwhelming and blissful!! Enjoy the picture show of my little one!!

First day home in bed!


Tessa finally deciding having a new sister is ok!


Simone's Christmas dress


Sleeping so sweetly!


Picture with Gramps!


Loving this red bow!


This is what I look like today!



Christmas came with lots of cheer! We loved spending it with the family. Here are a few of the pictures that came with the celebration!!

Elise and her cousin Brookelyn eating giant doughnuts!


Elise in her dress she got for Christmas! I love this dress!


Look Mom, I got pants for Christmas!


The family opening gifts - mass chaos of wrapping paper!


Tessa sitting in the rocking chair with her new doggy!!


Say goodbye Tessa!! Bye Bye!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Sweet girl

If you haven't heard...a baby was born! I would like to introduce you to our new addition, Simone Ruth Kapp. She was 6 lbs and 19 inches. Her sisters are so in love! Her parents love her too to say the least! We have loved having her home. She has added so much to our family!